NOAH AOC

 My son Ethan is now in a regular type summer camp for normally sighted kids. He is having a great time, but can't recognise any of his mates or tell me any names of friends. He does say he has friends and his TVI has been coming to work with him at camp once a week to address the social piece...she took photos with my digital camera which I printed out and put in a book. He couldn't identify any of them from the lovely close-ups she made. I sent the  "face book" to camp to see if the teachers in his group could label all of the pictures. He also doesn't recognise which teacher is which.

This type of face/name recognition issue was very present during his school year in preschool as well. He's about to enter kindergarten in the fall, and I'm a bit concerned about the social issues he seems to be developing due to this difficulty. His accuity isn't too bad (20/80 in a clinical setting), but he just can't sort out who's who and as he gets older, it becomes less acceptable to look on your friends as an anonymous, yet congenial group!

So, does anyone else see their kids having problems with this? Has anyone had kids grow out of this, or found ways to work around it?

Hi, I put a post in the general forum about my daughters social issues and her being a close talker.  Joni added some great advice for us to use with my daughter Alexis and it may be of some use to you!  Here is the link I hope it helps.

 

http://community.albinism.org/forums/t/7696.aspx

I just realized TomAnAn had this problem at conference. We were meeting a friend and Tom was with me. I asked him who it was as he was looking at her puzzledly (a new word!). He was really trying to figure out who it was. As soon as she said, "Hi Thomas." His face lit up and he said, "Miss Carrie!" and jumped into her arms. Maybe working on voice/name recognition will help. TomAnAn is entering K in the fall as well. He will get in someone's face to really see it. And remember what they are wearing. He ran to another person wearing a white skirt on Sunday morning and both kids often run into men wearing khaki's or jeans depending on what Scott is wearing. You're not alone! c.

This is a very common issue with people with albinism--I don't think they ever grow out it--they just get better at accommodating and the people around them help.

My son, Zach, is almost 5 years old.  He is not going into K (he misses the cut-off), but he attends preschool all day/everyday just like K--they have the same schedule.  Last year, his teacher gave me copies of all the students pictures and names.  Every night we would "study" the kids names and faces.  Within a short time, he knew most of them, but I did notice many times that he wouldn't "know" the child until he was very close or they would talk to him.  Because it was preschool, I left it at that.  However, the teachers would identify themselves and almost always would identify other adults that he was not familiar with.  Everyday, when I picked him up, they would "announce" to him that I was there and he would just start running until he saw me.

Now, this year (last of preschool), I do intend to work with the teacher (the TVI will help) and explain to his classmates more about his low vision.  The TVI and I think that this year, the students will understand and respond--identifying themselves etc..... (especially on the playground). Not every kid will do it (they are only 4 and 5 years old), but they are so smart at that age and I want him to get used to it before he enters K (bigger school, more teachers, more kids) so that it seems like a way of life and not "Zachary can't see--let's make a big deal out of it".

 Also, I noticed that last year, all the kids sat in the same seat for lunch and classroom activities--so that helped.  However, I know in K that will not be the case.  We also use the "base" method and the teachers use that as well--it works very well in most situations.

As far as getting better--I think it will get worse--more kids and more teachers moving around constantly.  Because of this, I am really trying to teach him to "ask" his friends, his teachers etc....  This is very hard for a stubborn kid who wants to do everything his way and himself.

Jo

I don't think we ever really 'outgrow' it.  We just learn to handle it better, fake it when necessary, and generally cover our inadequacies in this department!

Don't get me wrong, how we deal with it isn't a bad thing!

Lexi's mom posted the link to the other thread, so I'll try not to be too repetitive.

I still deal with not recognizing faces.  It isn't that we don't see them, it just takes us a little longer to zero in on them, especialy if we aren't nose to nose.  As we grow up, and with a little help, we learn other strategies to make up for the lack of  being able to see face details clearly.

We can see faces, jusst not the little details, like eye color, whether or not someone has earrings--if they are big I can tell, but I can't tell you what they are, facial piercings, etc.  I can generally tell shether someone has long or short hair and what color from an acceptable distance.  Nonvisual cues or visual cues based on larger things--the persons'height, the sound of their walk (I have a boss who we call 'cloppy' because of her clunky shoes and she kind of drags her feet, you can hear her coming, so you never get snuck up on!!), even a person's gait.  Whether or no they usually wear a hat, their jacket color, stuff like that helps.  Of course, once they start talking, I always know who it is by their voice! 

These things are all acquired skills, most without even realizing it.  They develop over time. 

The biggest problem for me is when I run into people 'out of context'.  Like teachers from my kids's school.  I know them all by sight when I am at school, but if they come into the store where I work, there are only a couple I recognize immediately by sight.  I know my neighbors when they are out in their yards, but if I see them in the park, I might not recognize them instantly.  And forget about recognizing people driving by in a car!  Unless the car stands out and I really know whose car it is and they yell out the window at me I wouldn't have a clue.

Your kids will have an easier time 'seeing' you when you pick them up from school if you always park/stand in the same spot.  I know it's' tough.  My mom did it, on the few occasions I got picked up, but we had a predetermined spot (I was in jr. high at the time), a little further down the block, and I could always find the car.  I have a couple of acquaintances who always say "Hi, JOni, i't so and so.." when they run into me at the bank.  It doesn't offend me, it actually makes for a much less embarassing opening to a conversation. 

 As for kids running to the wrong parent--even kids who can see do that.  Little kids see us at thigh level (poor kids!), so jeans are jeans, khakis are khakis.  They remember what color was at their eye level and make a beeline for it.  My normally sighted kids did  it, and I see it happen a lot--I work at a department store. 

My best weapon is just to smile at anyone who seems to be looking in my direction.  It doesn't hurt anything, and just might make someone's day.  (OK, that was sappy, so I am going to bed!)

Wish I could have been at the conference and played with all the little ones!  I'm going to try and pull out all the stops and make it to DC.

Joni

My son Michael uses voices generaly. I had popped up at his school once to talk with his teacher and he just happened to walk up to ask his teacher a question and then turned and walked away without saying hello. His teacher stopped him and when I said hi he reconized me. Also there was once that while at a friends house I had changed clothes while he was outside. When he came in he had to walk by me so he said excuse me. When I teased him and said there was no excuse for him he promptly replied " Oh Momma I didn't know that was you!". I believe that he mainly accomidates by voice recognition and like with me especialy because he usually knows what I am wearing slothes and such help him recognize people. That doesn't help with inital recogognition but I figure if it works it works.

The "facebook" helped our daughter a great deal when she started a new Pre-K program.  We'd look at it at home and it did seem to help her when she was at school. But it does take time for her to regularly and easily be able to identify people.  I'd say in the beginning of this past year, when she started kindergarten in a new school, it was a bit tougher for her but by mid-year, she had her tight group of 5-6 friends and she clearly knew who everyone was in her class (although she did have a very small class of only 12 kids).  This summer, she's in camp with some of her former classmates and some new ones and she seems to be managing pretty well.  Maybe she's just gotten craftier about how she identifies who's around her.  She has mentioned to me that sometimes she knows who the kids are because she hears the teachers or counselors calling their names.  So I guess this is one of the ways that she has found to work around the visual recognition issue.  I think she also listens to voices and notices mannerisms. 

 

Maybe teachers/counselors can play more games, sing songs, etc. that involve naming?  I know teachers who go around the circle and have one child act as the greeter and welcome each child to school by name (i.e. "Good morning, Jack.  Good morning, Sally.").  That's a good repetitive way to reinforce who is who on a consistent basis.  Also, songs like, "Sally's wearing a red dress" or transition activities like, "If your name is Jack, please go line up," will probably help him with identification.  As for our daughter, she starts 1st grade in the fall and I think maybe the fact that the kids will have assigned desks will help her with recognition.  Although, there will be less time for her to get to know them on a one-on-one level since there's less time for play which may make things more difficult.  Sigh.  Like everything else, only time will tell. 

I am 32 and still have issues with face/name connections.  To make things interesting I am now a teacher!  So learning names and faces is a must!  Every year I have to learn 60+ names and the faces they go with.  As an adult, I have learned to pick out something that really stands out about each child and then learn the names with a photo book I create at the start of the year.  I usually try to break the class up into groups to learn them.  I find students that I can identify and recognize quicklly to learn the names of first.  Then as I get to know the personalities or habits of the others and learn their names.  Usually in two weeks I can have 30+ of the names down.  As far as recognizing other adults, most of the people I deal with on a daily basis know that i have trouble visually seeing.  And I have explained that I might pass them in the hall and not even recognize them.  Most of them now understand I am not ignoring them.  And people I work with have gotten better about speaking to me first.  Usually as soon as I hear the voice I know who it is, and then start to make the visual recognition.

With my own son, who does not have albinism, but suffers from ADHD, he also has trouble remembering names.  Mainly because of his issues with attention and remembering.  In his Preschool class, his teacher talked with the class about how some people have a hard time learning names.  What she started having the other students do, was to say "Jack, I'm _______.  would you like to play."  This really seemed to help him learn the names.  We also did a photobook at home and practiced names and talked about who he played with each day.  His favorite thing was to tell me who got into trouble each day.  He is now 7.  He does much better in school.  But, he has cousins that he sees about every couple of months.  He still refers to them as "Hey girls"  and is clueless about their names. 

I would really suggest that you inform the teacher of his difficulty with name recognition, I know as a teacher, knowing something like that is helpful.

 My son Akiva is 6 and has this problem as well.  When I came in to his kindergarten class one day toward the end of the year I was shocked when he said to a boy in his class, what's your name again?  Children who he's been with since the age of 2 he knows very well, but he just now learned how to tell apart my nieces who are the same age as he is and are fraternal twins (they look nothing alike but are similar in height).  When I am out with him, I'll identify his friends for him by telling him what color they are wearing.  If we are going to the park or pool, I'll have him look at my bathing suit so he could remember what color it is to find me later ( I try not to wear black).  He is in camp now too and does not know the names of the new kids in his bunk (anyone he hasn't been to school with).  He had a camp performance, and I came as close to the stage as I could.  His friends told them I was there and then I did "my wave" - a kind of two-handed criss crossing up in the air wave that helps him know it is me.  I think that as he gets older he is becoming more aware of other people/children and is learning to remember who is who based on other cues.

I want to cry when I read these comments.  It hurts so much to see your children having such difficulty with things like this and I know that my Jathan will probably have to face this as well.  I just wish that we could take their problems away. 

I am glad to discover that Ethan has good company with this issue...and that people have found some very effective work-arounds.   Ethan doesn't like to show that he's unsure, so rather than guess wrong, he's been refusing to guess who's who in his camp "face book" This morning we came up with a new strategy...each page has two people on it, so we tell him to choose between the two names and he points at the correct pictures with pride. Then we look and choose something unique about the kids he's identified to help him know who they are at camp...He was noticing hair shade (light or dark) and hair style (bangs, no bangs....long or short....curly or straight.) This was a big step forward because last week he'd just say "I don't know" when we'd point to a face and say "who's this?" He seems to feel more confident with "Which kid is Zoran and which is Nadav?" He is very timid about identifying kids by name in public other than his brothers, though. We'll certainly be trying out some of the other strategies you all have shared as well. And thanks to those of you with albinism for describing how this problem presents from the POV of the person with low vision!

 

 

Vickie,

 

Please don't be sad!  It isn't as bad as It sounds!  We don't know any different, especially as children!  It is just a matter of growing and learning ways to deal with the situations.  It isn't even always a conscious thing.  I had to actually sit and think before I wrote my previous post.  It is just an automatic part of living.  It isn't even something that can be taught completely, to some degree, yes.  A lot of it just comes with experience, which only happens as we grow up.

 I have kind of the reverse situation now, where I have to locate my kids and grandkids instead of them finding me!  The same tips and tricks hold true.  I do have a really sweet story to tell about my youngest daughter, who isnow 13 and going into the eighth grade.  She is a very busy, involved girl--National Junior Honor Society, volleyball team, several instruments for band, girls choir, etc.  When she was in fifth grade, they had two band concerts, one at Christmas and one in the spring.  She and one of her best friends were playing clarinet.  They didn't seat the kids by chair, as they do in high school.  They could choose their stand partners and sit wherever in the first clarinet section.  My daughter and her friend paired up both times.  At Christmas her friend was on the aisle and Maggie was one chair in.  She always tells me where she is in the band so I can find her quickly with my monocular, especially since she started wearing concert black!   Maggie was mad that she wasn't on the end.  I thought she was just being jealous.  Come the spring concert and she was getting all crabby about her friend wanting to sit on the end again so her mom could see her.  Maggie said to me that she should get to sit on the end because I can't see!!  It hadn't even crossed my mind that my then eleven year old daughter was thinking along those lines! 

I know it is hard not to feel sad and want to be able to change it, but as an adult, I certainly don't want anyone feeling that way for me.  We are all unique, and have challenges of one sort or another in our lives, whether it be a disability or illness, shyness, being lousy with money.  The key is learning to be comfortable with who you are and then making the best of it.

You are a good mom and I am sure Jathan will do wonderfully at whatever he chooses to do in life.

Joni

Joni,

Thanks for your take on this topic.  I was feeling the way Vickie is and you always seem to make me feel that things will be ok!  I always try to keep in my head that Ryker doesn't know any different so he will figure out what works for him.  I'm trying to be more decriptive in my tallking to Ryker so he can remember places and names on his own someday.  I hope he grows to be very observant like his dad, I seem to miss everthing as we drive by places!  Thanks for sharing the story about your daughter, how sweet of her to be thinking of you!

Kelli

I think I need Joni on speed dial, lol!

Joni,

Thank you! That makes me feel some better but it is still hard to think about the obstacles that my little one is going to have to face.  At least I can be prepared for those obstacles, through NOAH.

Thanks Again,

Vickie